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A.A
A.A is a colloquial term in Singapore, meaning attract attention. I choose to name my performance this as it is a representation of myself attracting attention.
After this semester, I realised that all my artworks has been about myself. I would consider myself narcissistic as I love to talk about myself that my friends would ask me to stop talking and listen for once.
In the past few years, I’ve made decisions that may not be the wisest. A part of me chose to do it as I love to do (eat) it, while a part of me choose to do it as I like the attention given to me by my friends. They would ask me to stop eating so much salt and light sauce, or stop drinking so much alcohol as it’s harmful to my body, but I like that they concern for me and I love the attention given to me. I would sometimes put more salt or drink more, just because I like it or because I like receiving messages from them to ask me to stop.
This is why I chose these few items:
Salt - Me eating too much salt.
Light sauce - Me eating too much light sauce
Eggs - Me eating too much eggs
Coloured dye - My dyeing my hair too often.
Energy drinks - Me drinking too much energy drinks.
Flour - Me being called fat for loving to eat carbs.
Water - Me drinking too much alcohol.
I chose to paint myself white as a representation of self. I thought the colour is a good representation of thoughts as I often dream in white. I chose to use meditation music as it reflects my thought process as I did this project. My struggles with my true self and the facade I’m putting up to seek attention.
When I was still clean and white. I represent my true self, my vulnerability as I know that the choices I make are not wise. When the items are being thrown at me, it represents the critics and attention I’m receiving from my friends. It hurts me and dirties me as I know it’s not good for me. Yet I still smear it all over myself and lick it up as it represents action that I’m doing to seek for attention.
The camera is a representation of social media. I’m often on Instagram and I love posting stories about my life and events that happen around me. I would consider myself a social media slut. Sometimes, I choose to post stories knowing that it’s controversial, or that people would judge me for what I’m doing. I choose to post the stories regardless as I treat it as my shield, knowing that I will not be able to hear criticism about me. This shameless side of me is also narcissistic as I know that people will be talking about me, even if it’s not positive, I like that people care enough about me to be talking about me.
At the end when I retract back and started to panic and feel lost, I became aware of my surroundings. I attracted attention and experienced shame, embarrassment, from putting myself out in public. Feeling naked, I retract back to my corner.
After the performance
The performance turned out really well. My classmates were initially reluctant to throw the items at me at first, and I was lost as to what to do as I can't start my performance without the items being thrown on me. It fits the theme of me craving for attention, and yet not being able to get the attention of my classmates and end up standing there awkwardly. It was a little challenging to stay in character, but I was thankful to have went ahead with this idea and how the process turned out.
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